








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
344 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 192 | 24% |
| Smokes | 202 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 286 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 109 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $75,887 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shr1nto | 52% | 63 |
| #2 | Commander in Keef | 49% | 72 |
| #3 | Richard Petty | 46% | 72 |
| #4 | Jizz Lightyear | 44% | 59 |
| #5 | Big Slav | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Commander in Keef | 49% | 72 |
| #3 | Richard Petty | 46% | 72 |
| #4 | Jizz Lightyear | 44% | 59 |
| #5 | Big Slav | 41% | 17 |
| #6 | half-smoked black n mild | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Commander in Keef | 26 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | Jizz Lightyear | 12 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Richard Petty | 11 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | Shr1nto | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Big Slav | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Richard Petty | 257 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Shr1nto | 102 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jizz Lightyear | 71 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Commander in Keef | 37 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Big Slav | 13 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shr1nto | +6.20 | 88 | 67 |
| #2 | Commander in Keef | +0.89 | 41 | 28 |
| #3 | Big Slav | +0.28 | 63 | 42 |
| #4 | Jizz Lightyear | -0.57 | 44 | 43 |
| #5 | Richard Petty | -0.79 | 72 | 53 |





