








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 473 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4799 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1994 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4454 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 3101 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2038 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,492,816 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChickenOnAHorse | 58% | 66 |
| #2 | FluxZ | 56% | 59 |
| #3 | holy guacamole | 55% | 103 |
| #4 | SpectralOwl | 50% | 405 |
| #5 | Shkronkle | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Shkronkle | 49% | 35 |
| #6 | EBITDA | 48% | 330 |
| #7 | Didlo | 48% | 133 |
| #8 | Hohenberger | 48% | 107 |
| #9 | wockesha | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EBITDA | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | SpectralOwl | 6 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Didlo | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Hohenberger | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | holy guacamole | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpectralOwl | 480 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #2 | EBITDA | 206 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #3 | Didlo | 192 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hohenberger | 142 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | holy guacamole | 126 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Didlo | +1.95 | 75 | 61 |
| #2 | FluxZ | +1.43 | 70 | 68 |
| #3 | holy guacamole | +1.30 | 85 | 51 |
| #4 | EBITDA | +1.14 | 69 | 60 |
| #5 | Meow Zedong | -0.15 | 79 | 46 |





