








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 756 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 310 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3843 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,237 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3658 | 17% |
| Smokes | 6152 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5917 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5510 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,630,295 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1459 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alhamdulillah | 52% | 27 |
| #2 | kyle wolfe | 49% | 74 |
| #3 | Mr. Yodis Džordi | 48% | 56 |
| #4 | Vii | 47% | 190 |
| #5 | wreck_13 | 46% | 219 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | wreck_13 | 46% | 219 |
| #6 | xXPersianXx | 46% | 163 |
| #7 | Arozz1. | 45% | 209 |
| #8 | daDDy | 45% | 315 |
| #9 | Tomzem | 42% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daDDy | 21 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | wreck_13 | 17 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Arozz1. | 15 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Tomzem | 12 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | Vii | 7 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | daDDy | 647 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #2 | xXPersianXx | 375 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | wreck_13 | 349 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | Mr. Yodis Džordi | 262 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #5 | Tomzem | 161 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kyle wolfe | +1.91 | 84 | 57 |
| #2 | Alhamdulillah | +1.41 | 64 | 65 |
| #3 | Mr. Yodis Džordi | +1.34 | 62 | 72 |
| #4 | xXPersianXx | +1.30 | 58 | 72 |
| #5 | ☣Mr.NickFlow☣ | +0.69 | 54 | 74 |





