








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1873 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,321 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2983 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2581 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1967 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1790 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $602,374 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lähtisikö kanssani? | 82% | 17 |
| #2 | Skoira | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | ww:D | 61% | 62 |
| #4 | jED | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | Nuutti | 55% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | TOMMILANTINE | 52% | 50 |
| #8 | LUiGiNOBiKOV -.- | 52% | 31 |
| #9 | jupelinho | 50% | 42 |
| #10 | mahhe סﮟס | 48% | 23 |
| #11 | Roostedt | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nuutti | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | ww:D | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | TOMMILANTINE | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | LUiGiNOBiKOV -.- | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Skoira | 3 | 0.0101 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tantor | 439 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | Nuutti | 411 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | ww:D | 400 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| #4 | TOMMILANTINE | 141 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | mahhe סﮟס | 106 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lähtisikö kanssani? | +3.83 | 88 | 55 |
| #2 | ww:D | +1.92 | 75 | 75 |
| #3 | LUiGiNOBiKOV -.- | +0.68 | 73 | 70 |
| #4 | TOMMILANTINE | +0.49 | 60 | 70 |
| #5 | jupelinho | +0.14 | 83 | 65 |





