








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,307 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1598 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1290 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1420 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 999 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $594,432 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eksu | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Tuomari | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Lentäjä | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | LUiGiNOBiKOV -.- | 58% | 55 |
| #5 | BOROMIR | 58% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | ZuBa | 50% | 8 |
| #14 | Kurwi | 49% | 37 |
| #15 | Nuutti | 47% | 19 |
| #16 | Mazzi | 46% | 13 |
| #17 | jupelinho | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LUiGiNOBiKOV -.- | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | emc | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | eksu | 2 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | ENK1NKA | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Nuutti | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emc | 259 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #2 | LUiGiNOBiKOV -.- | 151 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | jED | 104 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | BOROMIR | 96 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | ENK1NKA | 78 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZuBa | +4.17 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | lähtisikö kanssani? | +1.93 | 93 | 62 |
| #3 | LUiGiNOBiKOV -.- | +1.79 | 77 | 75 |
| #4 | TOMMILANTINE | +1.40 | 64 | 74 |
| #5 | tantor | +1.18 | 60 | 76 |





