








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
450 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 356 | 21% |
| Smokes | 484 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 426 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 422 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $196,712 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lähtisikö kanssani? | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | ww:D | 68% | 31 |
| #3 | LUiGiNOBiKOV -.- | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | tantor | 53% | 38 |
| #5 | Nuutti | 53% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | LUiGiNOBiKOV -.- | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | tantor | 53% | 38 |
| #5 | Nuutti | 53% | 38 |
| #6 | emc | 50% | 42 |
| #7 | TOMMILANTINE | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tantor | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Nuutti | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | ww:D | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | LUiGiNOBiKOV -.- | 1 | 0.0161 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ww:D | 173 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #2 | emc | 165 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | tantor | 146 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | Nuutti | 97 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | lähtisikö kanssani? | 31 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lähtisikö kanssani? | +4.75 | 88 | 49 |
| #2 | ww:D | +1.58 | 79 | 73 |
| #3 | jupelinho | +0.01 | 84 | 63 |
| #4 | Nuutti | -0.18 | 67 | 67 |
| #5 | emc | -0.37 | 62 | 72 |





