








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
743 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 676 | 23% |
| Smokes | 885 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 839 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 500 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $93,806 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mahhe סﮟס | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | ENK1NKA | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | Tuomari | 77% | 13 |
| #4 | ZuBa | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | Keke Smullberg | 71% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | jED | 55% | 22 |
| #14 | Roostedt | 53% | 15 |
| #15 | emc | 52% | 31 |
| #16 | Mazzi | 44% | 9 |
| #17 | ͜ʖ☭cONdOm FiLL3r ∩ ( ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆ ∩☭ | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOMMILANTINE | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | emc | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | eksu | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Roostedt | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOMMILANTINE | 201 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | emc | 153 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | BOROMIR | 68 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | jED | 68 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | eksu | 27 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOMMILANTINE | +2.42 | 64 | 72 |
| #2 | mahhe סﮟס | +1.81 | 57 | 80 |
| #3 | LUiGiNOBiKOV -.- | +1.80 | 78 | 75 |
| #4 | hamsefozi | +1.55 | 77 | 60 |
| #5 | Nuutti | +0.98 | 69 | 73 |





