








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3785 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3131 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3346 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3641 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2358 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,452,100 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | jackbau3r | 49% | 267 |
| #11 | th0z | 49% | 43 |
| #12 | Hybed | 47% | 128 |
| #13 | Muerte | 44% | 54 |
| #14 | ChinesenTom™ | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jackbau3r | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Ming0 | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Hybed | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | reen624 | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | DerOberDude | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jackbau3r | 691 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | Kalashnikov | 594 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | reen624 | 373 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | Ming0 | 356 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | SkillZ#69 | 326 | 0.24 | 8 min |





