








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 703 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 183 matches | ||
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2639 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5638 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4806 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3249 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3601 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $934,387 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 484 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 420_30msBrainPing | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | 420_Pussy.Destroyer | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | 420_Wolfjojo5612 | 68% | 22 |
| #4 | n3m3s1s * | 53% | 51 |
| #5 | reen624 | 50% | 211 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | seriously | 50% | 64 |
| #7 | Ming0 | 50% | 120 |
| #8 | jackbau3r | 49% | 231 |
| #9 | Kalashnikov | 48% | 155 |
| #10 | Hybed | 48% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jackbau3r | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | reen624 | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Kalashnikov | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Hybed | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Ming0 | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reen624 | 883 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #2 | jackbau3r | 520 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #3 | Kalashnikov | 454 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | Ming0 | 246 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | n3m3s1s * | 237 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 420_Wolfjojo5612 | +1.56 | 67 | 40 |
| #2 | Ming0 | +1.40 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | SkillZ#69 | +1.14 | 67 | 74 |
| #4 | Hybed | +0.09 | 60 | 69 |
| #5 | jackbau3r | -0.27 | 81 | 69 |





