








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 272 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1739 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 605 | 22% |
| Smokes | 992 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 435 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 663 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,249,662 of utility $292 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < Jox > | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | MagicNey | 48% | 40 |
| #3 | Nàlökîm | 44% | 81 |
| #4 | Gith@ne | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | DocPaz | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Nàlökîm | 44% | 81 |
| #4 | Gith@ne | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | DocPaz | 43% | 21 |
| #6 | lexoseb36(fr) | 42% | 26 |
| #7 | labricot | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MagicNey | 7 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | < Jox > | 3 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Nàlökîm | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | labricot | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | lexoseb36(fr) | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MagicNey | 133 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | lexoseb36(fr) | 33 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | < Jox > | 32 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | DocPaz | 20 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | labricot | 19 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nàlökîm | +5.66 | 82 | 32 |
| #2 | MagicNey | +2.20 | 61 | 65 |
| #3 | < Jox > | +1.28 | 66 | 50 |
| #4 | labricot | -0.96 | 42 | 39 |
| #5 | Kaz | -1.79 | 49 | 38 |





