








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1591 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,652 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1829 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1407 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2067 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1349 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $510,074 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JPEGMONKEY | 22 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | C0NCEPT | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | ellis | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Insane | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Vest | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JPEGMONKEY | 340 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | C0NCEPT | 197 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | ellis | 154 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Vest | 77 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kenobi | 57 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C0NCEPT | +2.74 | 66 | 72 |
| #2 | Insane | +0.90 | 66 | 47 |
| #3 | toppies | +0.73 | 70 | 67 |
| #4 | Kenobi | +0.30 | 67 | 60 |
| #5 | JPEGMONKEY | -0.06 | 71 | 57 |





