








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 293 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3499 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,585 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1557 | 12% |
| Smokes | 4162 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2340 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4526 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,327,136 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JPEGMONKEY | 61 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | C0NCEPT | 13 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Insane | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | ellis | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | sammosa | 5 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JPEGMONKEY | 919 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #2 | C0NCEPT | 590 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #3 | ellis | 314 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | sammosa | 147 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | TrashPanda | 137 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C0NCEPT | +2.28 | 66 | 76 |
| #2 | Kenobi | +0.91 | 74 | 66 |
| #3 | Insane | +0.76 | 65 | 45 |
| #4 | ellis | +0.34 | 75 | 68 |
| #5 | JPEGMONKEY | -0.16 | 68 | 57 |





