










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
144 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 107 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 30 | 28% |
| Smokes | 30 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 39 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $7,668 of utility $16 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spoderman | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | KingLinkVR | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | 1M4CR4CKH34D | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Pancake | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | IM BLACK | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 1M4CR4CKH34D | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Pancake | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | IM BLACK | 43% | 30 |
| #6 | Esoteric Scholar | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | dickdog industries🐶 | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dickdog industries🐶 | 1 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | KingLinkVR | 1 | 1.0000 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pancake | 20 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | Esoteric Scholar | 18 | 0.27 | 0 min |
| #3 | IM BLACK | 17 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | dickdog industries🐶 | 2 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | 1M4CR4CKH34D | 1 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esoteric Scholar | +8.28 | 91 | 67 |
| #2 | Spoderman | +2.24 | 45 | 44 |
| #3 | IM BLACK | -0.22 | 52 | 49 |
| #4 | Pancake | -1.49 | 23 | 23 |
| #5 | Rand al'Thor | -2.34 | 17 | 15 |





