










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
81 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 36 | 22% |
| Smokes | 66 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 19 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 43 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $34,400 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rand al'Thor | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Esoteric Scholar | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Pancake | 25% | 12 |
| #4 | IM BLACK | 25% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rand al'Thor | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Esoteric Scholar | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | Pancake | 25% | 12 |
| #4 | IM BLACK | 25% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IM BLACK | 8 | 0.0185 |
| #2 | Pancake | 3 | 0.0172 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IM BLACK | 16 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #2 | Pancake | 10 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #3 | Esoteric Scholar | 8 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esoteric Scholar | +7.84 | 93 | 61 |
| #2 | IM BLACK | +2.49 | 59 | 36 |
| #3 | Pancake | -0.50 | 55 | 0 |
| #4 | Rand al'Thor | -3.76 | 17 | 12 |
| #5 | 1M4CR4CKH34D | -7.74 | 6 | 8 |





