








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 649 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




106 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9580 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,923 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4487 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5986 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4209 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5241 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,738,832 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wampa | 66% | 102 |
| #2 | professional rat | 56% | 480 |
| #3 | Me say | 54% | 245 |
| #4 | Tendies | 54% | 50 |
| #5 | wtchワ | 53% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Me say | 54% | 245 |
| #4 | Tendies | 54% | 50 |
| #5 | wtchワ | 53% | 62 |
| #6 | dope | 48% | 143 |
| #7 | S | 47% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | professional rat | 43 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Me say | 14 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | dope | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | S | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | wampa | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Me say | 601 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | professional rat | 422 | 0.04 | 11 min |
| #3 | dope | 255 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | wampa | 195 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | wtchワ | 145 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wampa | +2.91 | 86 | 46 |
| #2 | professional rat | +1.65 | 83 | 42 |
| #3 | Rythio | +0.97 | 84 | 56 |
| #4 | Tendies | +0.51 | 73 | 67 |
| #5 | dope | -0.05 | 69 | 49 |





