








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 694 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 265 matches | ||
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6543 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,716 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6831 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5945 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3493 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4447 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $766,490 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tamerlaneい河正の 꿈 | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | ★ 𝒵𝑒𝓂𝓉𝒶𝒾★ | 67% | 36 |
| #3 | modern | 53% | 59 |
| #4 | Rinkebyragnar | 51% | 92 |
| #5 | NC.zeNDo[fOu] | 51% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Rinkebyragnar | 51% | 92 |
| #5 | NC.zeNDo[fOu] | 51% | 55 |
| #6 | rainer | 49% | 72 |
| #7 | AVP | 45% | 96 |
| #8 | higuys | 45% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rainer | 20 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | Rinkebyragnar | 11 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | AVP | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | NC.zeNDo[fOu] | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | higuys | 6 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AVP | 355 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | Rinkebyragnar | 276 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | modern | 237 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | higuys | 233 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | rainer | 167 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 9kg ballast | +1.91 | 72 | 55 |
| #2 | rainer | +1.60 | 76 | 56 |
| #3 | tamerlaneい河正の 꿈 | +1.57 | 56 | 80 |
| #4 | ★ 𝒵𝑒𝓂𝓉𝒶𝒾★ | +1.22 | 81 | 55 |
| #5 | higuys | +1.02 | 74 | 62 |





