








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 136 matches | ||
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2419 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,420 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2132 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2264 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2050 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1974 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $937,352 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 539 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rainer | 54% | 148 |
| #2 | Williams_Timp | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | AVP | 53% | 127 |
| #4 | higuys | 51% | 180 |
| #5 | 9kg ballast | 51% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rainer | 54% | 148 |
| #2 | Williams_Timp | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | AVP | 53% | 127 |
| #4 | higuys | 51% | 180 |
| #5 | 9kg ballast | 51% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 9kg ballast | 17 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | rainer | 14 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | AVP | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | higuys | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Williams_Timp | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 9kg ballast | 554 | 0.29 | 13 min |
| #2 | higuys | 517 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | AVP | 480 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #4 | rainer | 402 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #5 | Williams_Timp | 113 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rainer | +1.21 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | AVP | +0.16 | 77 | 76 |
| #3 | higuys | +0.04 | 78 | 65 |
| #4 | 9kg ballast | -0.22 | 47 | 59 |
| #5 | Rinkebyragnar | -0.23 | 55 | 63 |





