








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 395 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1821 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,681 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1276 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1678 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1225 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1502 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $789,197 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BALD-PEEK Nash | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | esk | 75% | 16 |
| #3 | Bonn @165hz | 60% | 45 |
| #4 | viktor ☭ | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Jisoo | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bonn @165hz | 318 | 0.38 | 9 min |
| #2 | K - Mira abençoada/Mira Cristã | 159 | 0.38 | 4 min |
| #3 | viktor ☭ | 79 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jisoo | 70 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | o$zy:) for real? | 69 | 0.17 | 1 min |





