








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2042 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,414 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1113 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1275 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1278 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1748 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $736,307 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | notawaffle | 73% | 26 |
| #2 | Hangman | 57% | 92 |
| #3 | scar | 56% | 140 |
| #4 | tehk_ | 56% | 87 |
| #5 | Ruchy | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Kōrīhowaitohausu de chō taihen! | 54% | 172 |
| #7 | WaCK-ar | 48% | 29 |
| #8 | Jesper | 44% | 18 |
| #9 | joosh | 42% | 24 |
| #10 | donut appreciator | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kōrīhowaitohausu de chō taihen! | 23 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Hangman | 11 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | scar | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | notawaffle | 7 | 0.0136 |
| #5 | WaCK-ar | 4 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tehk_ | 301 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Hangman | 298 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | scar | 255 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kōrīhowaitohausu de chō taihen! | 182 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | WaCK-ar | 135 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tehk_ | +2.96 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | Ruchy | +2.72 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | Kōrīhowaitohausu de chō taihen! | +2.08 | 84 | 49 |
| #4 | Hangman | +0.72 | 75 | 70 |
| #5 | notawaffle | +0.19 | 78 | 49 |





