








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4590 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,103 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5286 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4105 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2246 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3466 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $428,789 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crabs | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | Neo | 62% | 123 |
| #3 | Febreeze | 59% | 164 |
| #4 | Alma | GAIN.GG | 57% | 90 |
| #5 | 𝖂𝕰𝕰 | 55% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Neo | 62% | 123 |
| #3 | Febreeze | 59% | 164 |
| #4 | Alma | GAIN.GG | 57% | 90 |
| #5 | 𝖂𝕰𝕰 | 55% | 65 |
| #6 | Magic Mike | 52% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magic Mike | 12 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | 𝖂𝕰𝕰 | 10 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Neo | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | crabs | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | Febreeze | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Febreeze | 391 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Alma | GAIN.GG | 221 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | 𝖂𝕰𝕰 | 210 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | crabs | 166 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #5 | Neo | 118 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slothie | +5.43 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | Febreeze | +2.60 | 81 | 50 |
| #3 | Alma | GAIN.GG | +1.03 | 63 | 61 |
| #4 | crabs | +0.79 | 83 | 58 |
| #5 | 𝖂𝕰𝕰 | -3.36 | 27 | 45 |





