








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 729 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1062 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1407 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1956 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $309,679 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 423 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slothie | 52% | 91 |
| #2 | Febreeze | 50% | 182 |
| #3 | Alma | GAIN.GG | 50% | 103 |
| #4 | Neo | 46% | 125 |
| #5 | 𝖂𝕰𝕰 | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slothie | 52% | 91 |
| #2 | Febreeze | 50% | 182 |
| #3 | Alma | GAIN.GG | 50% | 103 |
| #4 | Neo | 46% | 125 |
| #5 | 𝖂𝕰𝕰 | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Febreeze | 14 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Neo | 13 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | 𝖂𝕰𝕰 | 12 | 0.0104 |
| #4 | Alma | GAIN.GG | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | slothie | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slothie | 507 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #2 | Febreeze | 420 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Alma | GAIN.GG | 230 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Neo | 220 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | 𝖂𝕰𝕰 | 181 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slothie | +6.99 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | Febreeze | +5.28 | 88 | 49 |
| #3 | Alma | GAIN.GG | +1.10 | 65 | 58 |
| #4 | 𝖂𝕰𝕰 | -3.10 | 25 | 46 |
| #5 | Magic Mike | -3.92 | 18 | 35 |





