








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2303 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1342 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 857 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1339 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $642,980 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slothie | 57% | 90 |
| #2 | Magic Mike | 50% | 103 |
| #3 | Febreeze | 46% | 160 |
| #4 | Neo | 45% | 148 |
| #5 | 𝖂𝕰𝕰 | 39% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slothie | 57% | 90 |
| #2 | Magic Mike | 50% | 103 |
| #3 | Febreeze | 46% | 160 |
| #4 | Neo | 45% | 148 |
| #5 | 𝖂𝕰𝕰 | 39% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magic Mike | 19 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Febreeze | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Neo | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | slothie | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | 𝖂𝕰𝕰 | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slothie | 521 | 0.29 | 14 min |
| #2 | Febreeze | 437 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | 𝖂𝕰𝕰 | 147 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | Magic Mike | 142 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Neo | 128 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slothie | +6.10 | 82 | 73 |
| #2 | Febreeze | +3.49 | 85 | 49 |
| #3 | Alma | GAIN.GG | +1.10 | 65 | 59 |
| #4 | 𝖂𝕰𝕰 | -3.55 | 24 | 46 |
| #5 | Magic Mike | -4.41 | 17 | 32 |





