








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 733 | 25% |
| Smokes | 854 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 717 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 596 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $236,918 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h1atus | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | rob | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | This Dude | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | yonker | 54% | 35 |
| #5 | tapper- | 53% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | tapper- | 53% | 36 |
| #6 | Klaws | 52% | 44 |
| #7 | Huke | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | KEN | 43% | 30 |
| #9 | *eL MuRRo :> | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klaws | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | KEN | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yonker | 180 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | Klaws | 99 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | tapper- | 87 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | KEN | 79 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | rob | 57 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rob | +2.19 | 76 | 61 |
| #2 | tapper- | +1.76 | 72 | 70 |
| #3 | yonker | +0.91 | 58 | 74 |
| #4 | h1atus | +0.50 | 56 | 52 |
| #5 | Klaws | +0.15 | 84 | 59 |





