








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,908 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 471 | 25% |
| Smokes | 632 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 477 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 328 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $130,158 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *eL MuRRo :> | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | rob | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Huke | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Bobby Brown | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | yonker | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Klaws | 44% | 34 |
| #7 | KEN | 36% | 28 |
| #8 | Tompa | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | h1atus | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | This Dude | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klaws | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | KEN | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Huke | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | rob | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yonker | 161 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #2 | Bobby Brown | 129 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Klaws | 71 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | KEN | 65 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | rob | 53 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tapper- | +1.60 | 75 | 67 |
| #2 | *eL MuRRo :> | +1.13 | 77 | 68 |
| #3 | yonker | +0.55 | 56 | 76 |
| #4 | KEN | -0.18 | 68 | 71 |
| #5 | Klaws | -0.33 | 82 | 55 |





