








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 53 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
659 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,097 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 548 | 26% |
| Smokes | 598 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 447 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 504 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $285,692 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h1atus | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | rob | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | This Dude | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Bobby Brown | 52% | 44 |
| #5 | Tompa | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Huke | 50% | 22 |
| #7 | yonker | 49% | 39 |
| #8 | tapper- | 44% | 34 |
| #9 | KEN | 41% | 44 |
| #10 | *eL MuRRo :> | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KEN | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | tapper- | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | rob | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yonker | 206 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #2 | Bobby Brown | 183 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | KEN | 106 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | tapper- | 93 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | rob | 93 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rob | +1.23 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | tapper- | +1.14 | 74 | 67 |
| #3 | Klaws | +0.15 | 83 | 59 |
| #4 | *eL MuRRo :> | -0.13 | 55 | 72 |
| #5 | yonker | -0.13 | 56 | 72 |





