








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
560 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,622 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 919 | 35% |
| Smokes | 627 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 502 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 574 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $86,204 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *eL MuRRo :> | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | rob | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | h1atus | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | Bobby Brown | 54% | 35 |
| #5 | tapper- | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Huke | 50% | 10 |
| #7 | This Dude | 50% | 16 |
| #8 | Klaws | 49% | 39 |
| #9 | KEN | 41% | 32 |
| #10 | Tompa | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KEN | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Klaws | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | tapper- | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Huke | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | rob | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bobby Brown | 140 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Klaws | 82 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | tapper- | 82 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | KEN | 81 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | rob | 48 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tapper- | +1.34 | 77 | 67 |
| #2 | *eL MuRRo :> | +0.98 | 57 | 72 |
| #3 | yonker | +0.50 | 56 | 74 |
| #4 | rob | +0.48 | 64 | 66 |
| #5 | Klaws | +0.35 | 81 | 58 |





