








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 938 matches | ||
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14685 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 46,630 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11620 | 25% |
| Smokes | 11196 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 11120 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 12694 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,975,566 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4488 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZorF | 63% | 71 |
| #2 | sixfoot4 | 52% | 94 |
| #3 | arcade | 51% | 59 |
| #4 | man327 | 50% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZorF | 63% | 71 |
| #2 | sixfoot4 | 52% | 94 |
| #3 | arcade | 51% | 59 |
| #4 | man327 | 50% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZorF | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | sixfoot4 | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | man327 | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | arcade | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sixfoot4 | 359 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | man327 | 276 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | arcade | 264 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | ZorF | 211 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spud | +3.19 | 88 | 73 |
| #2 | sixfoot4 | +1.68 | 85 | 64 |
| #3 | arcade | +1.10 | 80 | 69 |
| #4 | ZorF | +0.50 | 89 | 64 |
| #5 | man327 | -0.62 | 86 | 61 |





