








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 515 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4279 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2711 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2662 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2971 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2604 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,390,826 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spud | 63% | 71 |
| #2 | railgun | 57% | 76 |
| #3 | yoyoers | 55% | 149 |
| #4 | Tigger | 51% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spud | 63% | 71 |
| #2 | railgun | 57% | 76 |
| #3 | yoyoers | 55% | 149 |
| #4 | Tigger | 51% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spud | 9 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Tigger | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | yoyoers | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | railgun | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yoyoers | 510 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | spud | 243 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Tigger | 201 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | railgun | 85 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spud | +4.54 | 88 | 73 |
| #2 | ZorF | +1.95 | 89 | 65 |
| #3 | yoyoers | +0.37 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | railgun | -0.85 | 64 | 45 |
| #5 | Tigger | -2.30 | 68 | 45 |





