








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 404 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
913 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,041 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 768 | 25% |
| Smokes | 744 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 718 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 811 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $430,869 of utility $253 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KohZe | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | |Blade| | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Exa | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Nonexistent | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | iBrahizy | 57% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kitten | 69 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | iBrahizy | 68 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Catboy Criminal (=ʘᆽʘ=)∫ | 46 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | 7ero | 40 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Exa | 27 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KohZe | +5.55 | 77 | 58 |
| #2 | |Blade| | +5.34 | 66 | 64 |
| #3 | aaaaaaaaa | +4.06 | 77 | 55 |
| #4 | tatska | +3.56 | 78 | 55 |
| #5 | Catboy Criminal (=ʘᆽʘ=)∫ | +2.72 | 80 | 52 |





