








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 912 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 208 matches | ||
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9291 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4367 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6126 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5523 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5218 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,893,994 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yayav | 78% | 154 |
| #2 | JamLiu | 77% | 205 |
| #3 | ᵃʳᶜʰᵉʳ⇀ | 75% | 125 |
| #4 | 白居易 | 74% | 76 |
| #5 | Donk | 73% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | ργôKara | 67% | 171 |
| #14 | 直到大厦崩塌 | 64% | 89 |
| #15 | kintama | 63% | 70 |
| #16 | Jam | 61% | 38 |
| #17 | 还得再想想 | 44% | 55 |





