








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1014 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 176 matches | ||
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4873 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,034 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5776 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5538 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5443 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5277 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,329,071 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 323 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _.xx | 957 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | Ch1naTownBoy | 368 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | ga | 309 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | 白居易 | 270 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | ργôKara | 258 | 0.14 | 4 min |





