








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1985 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,022 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1092 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1566 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1448 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1916 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $797,229 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 266 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toilt | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Lexx | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | CircuitCityChad | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Notre_ | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ☠ $Ƈ℟₳☧☧ɆⱤ ☠ | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | Renato | 43% | 89 |
| #9 | IcyPetey2 | 38% | 13 |
| #10 | halcy0n | 32% | 19 |
| #11 | Mesharsky | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Renato | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Mesharsky | 5 | 0.0212 |
| #3 | ☠ $Ƈ℟₳☧☧ɆⱤ ☠ | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Lexx | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | IcyPetey2 | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Renato | 68 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | 53 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Toilt | 53 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lexx | 51 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | ☠ $Ƈ℟₳☧☧ɆⱤ ☠ | 42 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KmartKenny | +2.72 | 58 | 50 |
| #2 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | +1.24 | 43 | 62 |
| #3 | Lexx | +0.21 | 48 | 56 |
| #4 | CircuitCityChad | -0.95 | 47 | 25 |
| #5 | ☠ $Ƈ℟₳☧☧ɆⱤ ☠ | -1.11 | 40 | 55 |





