








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1664 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,797 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 429 | 9% |
| Smokes | 1721 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1420 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1227 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $692,136 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n3bs | 54% | 95 |
| #2 | CircuitCityChad | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | Cluster Fox | 46% | 113 |
| #4 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | KmartKenny | 43% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | CircuitCityChad | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | Cluster Fox | 46% | 113 |
| #4 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | KmartKenny | 43% | 89 |
| #6 | halcy0n | 33% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KmartKenny | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | n3bs | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Cluster Fox | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | CircuitCityChad | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | halcy0n | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KmartKenny | 166 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | n3bs | 88 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | 46 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | halcy0n | 37 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | CircuitCityChad | 23 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n3bs | +4.34 | 60 | 46 |
| #2 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | +4.20 | 56 | 66 |
| #3 | KmartKenny | +2.94 | 63 | 48 |
| #4 | CircuitCityChad | -0.31 | 61 | 39 |
| #5 | Renato | -0.84 | 45 | 32 |





