








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 502 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 314 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8372 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,260 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5313 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5759 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4732 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4456 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,051,838 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 311 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Custer | 49% | 221 |
| #9 | MenTaL | 48% | 266 |
| #10 | TheTinCan | 48% | 208 |
| #11 | MBowers | 41% | 136 |
| #12 | MiaRose24 | 34% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Custer | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | MenTaL | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | TheTinCan | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Splatmonkey14 | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Way | 7 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheTinCan | 963 | 0.22 | 21 min |
| #2 | MenTaL | 804 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #3 | cur1ous | 553 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #4 | Custer | 508 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #5 | Splatmonkey14 | 496 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | apolloh | +4.84 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | Way | +1.35 | 65 | 69 |
| #3 | MajorLeagueGoober | +0.36 | 67 | 61 |
| #4 | cur1ous | -0.23 | 76 | 65 |
| #5 | Splatmonkey14 | -0.80 | 63 | 54 |





