








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3916 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,971 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3011 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2449 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2727 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1784 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $889,918 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β
ππ ππππ π | 57% | 72 |
| #2 | Manina_Enny | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | Eduard Laser | 53% | 187 |
| #4 | HaiX47 | 51% | 47 |
| #5 | Disliner | 47% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eduard Laser | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Defusion | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | β‘ Pebbles Mum β‘ | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | β
ππ ππππ π | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Disliner | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eduard Laser | +4.70 | 78 | 72 |
| #2 | In_Rage | +3.05 | 89 | 67 |
| #3 | β
ππ ππππ π | +1.30 | 48 | 61 |
| #4 | HaiX47 | +0.59 | 60 | 62 |
| #5 | Defusion | -1.15 | 68 | 61 |





