








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2193 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1362 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1796 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1798 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $300,490 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Distraction Tits | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | nosnibors | 67% | 69 |
| #3 | PERUVIAN BUGATTI PEEK | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | CPT | 58% | 129 |
| #5 | fak | 53% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | CPT | 58% | 129 |
| #5 | fak | 53% | 83 |
| #6 | s1ck0 | 52% | 54 |
| #7 | k | 45% | 31 |
| #8 | business owner | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CPT | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | fak | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | nosnibors | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | s1ck0 | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nosnibors | 358 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #2 | CPT | 196 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | fak | 196 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | s1ck0 | 116 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | business owner | 99 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PERUVIAN BUGATTI PEEK | +4.90 | 72 | 32 |
| #2 | nosnibors | +4.79 | 82 | 87 |
| #3 | fak | +3.17 | 78 | 51 |
| #4 | CPT | +0.40 | 73 | 61 |
| #5 | Distraction Tits | +0.27 | 79 | 73 |





