








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
961 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1414 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1461 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 732 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1080 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $586,390 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☛iSo ツ | 91% | 11 |
| #2 | Distraction Tits | 73% | 26 |
| #3 | COME TO BRAZIL | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | COME TO BRAZIL | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | nosnibors | 62% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | CPT | 50% | 68 |
| #10 | fak | 49% | 43 |
| #11 | BLACK EXCELLENCE | 45% | 22 |
| #12 | dangaLange | 45% | 31 |
| #13 | BreezyF | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CPT | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | fak | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | s1ck0 | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | business owner | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | COME TO BRAZIL | 2 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nosnibors | 301 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #2 | business owner | 187 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | CPT | 141 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | s1ck0 | 115 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | fak | 97 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COME TO BRAZIL | +7.48 | 78 | 92 |
| #2 | COME TO BRAZIL | +5.34 | 79 | 90 |
| #3 | nosnibors | +4.97 | 86 | 88 |
| #4 | ☛iSo ツ | +4.56 | 77 | 71 |
| #5 | BLACK EXCELLENCE | +3.89 | 77 | 62 |





