








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3369 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,307 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5744 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4510 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3543 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3510 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,129 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 308 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☛iSo ツ | 87% | 23 |
| #2 | dangaLange | 67% | 69 |
| #3 | k | 62% | 52 |
| #4 | fak | 61% | 83 |
| #5 | Distraction Tits | 61% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | business owner | 56% | 85 |
| #9 | BLACK EXCELLENCE | 56% | 25 |
| #10 | tig | 52% | 58 |
| #11 | Irfaan Ali | 51% | 37 |
| #12 | Bapples | 48% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CPT | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | s1ck0 | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | fak | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | business owner | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | dangaLange | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CPT | 307 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | s1ck0 | 293 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | business owner | 286 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | dangaLange | 234 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | fak | 232 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nosnibors | +5.05 | 82 | 87 |
| #2 | ☛iSo ツ | +3.95 | 79 | 67 |
| #3 | fak | +2.14 | 76 | 56 |
| #4 | BLACK EXCELLENCE | +0.53 | 72 | 69 |
| #5 | Distraction Tits | +0.34 | 73 | 70 |





