








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 52 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5608 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,271 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1796 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1331 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 998 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1146 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,416,433 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ᵀᵉᶜʰ⛧ | 48% | 69 |
| #9 | HEERO | 46% | 39 |
| #10 | Swifttt | 46% | 167 |
| #11 | ΞΝΤЯΟРУ™ | 44% | 27 |
| #12 | Blake | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swifttt | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | waggs | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | ᵀᵉᶜʰ⛧ | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Kit Fisto (transphobic) | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | ♖ demise ♜ | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | waggs | +3.63 | 88 | 69 |
| #2 | Nuwanda | +2.08 | 66 | 73 |
| #3 | ᵀᵉᶜʰ⛧ | +1.98 | 85 | 59 |
| #4 | ✪ Milton's Stapler | +1.85 | 86 | 29 |
| #5 | Jameel | +1.57 | 83 | 40 |





