








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 77 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4672 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2200 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1408 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2157 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2532 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $734,250 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Milton's Stapler | 58% | 64 |
| #2 | Kit Fisto (transphobic) | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | ♖ demise ♜ | 56% | 89 |
| #4 | ᵀᵉᶜʰ⛧ | 56% | 97 |
| #5 | Swifttt | 55% | 204 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ᵀᵉᶜʰ⛧ | 56% | 97 |
| #5 | Swifttt | 55% | 204 |
| #6 | Vysoh | 50% | 24 |
| #7 | Dolphin | 48% | 21 |
| #8 | KevDaCreatoR | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵀᵉᶜʰ⛧ | 16 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | ✪ Milton's Stapler | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Swifttt | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | ♖ demise ♜ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Kit Fisto (transphobic) | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵀᵉᶜʰ⛧ | 341 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | ♖ demise ♜ | 313 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | Swifttt | 279 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | Kit Fisto (transphobic) | 122 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | Vysoh | 102 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᵀᵉᶜʰ⛧ | +2.23 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | Jameel | +1.91 | 80 | 49 |
| #3 | ✪ Milton's Stapler | +1.54 | 87 | 31 |
| #4 | Dolphin | +1.09 | 71 | 39 |
| #5 | Kit Fisto (transphobic) | +0.47 | 57 | 61 |





