








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 605 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5121 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,062 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6071 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4974 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3059 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2958 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,806,882 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1940 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | YeetgerMeister | 43% | 121 |
| #14 | ming5ming | 42% | 43 |
| #15 | Japanese Shia Labeouf | 42% | 48 |
| #16 | Lui | 39% | 31 |
| #17 | Rheneas | 36% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 木哈密 | 27 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | _chaechae_1 | 19 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Ken66950 | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Udium | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Rheneas | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _chaechae_1 | 566 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | 木哈密 | 425 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | Udium | 272 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Rheneas | 247 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #5 | Ken66950 | 180 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Udium | +2.86 | 84 | 58 |
| #2 | 1 Year Old Virgin | +2.49 | 69 | 63 |
| #3 | varro | +2.19 | 68 | 72 |
| #4 | BeanBean | +2.14 | 70 | 60 |
| #5 | 木哈密 | +1.80 | 69 | 54 |





