








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1392 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 673 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10700 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11984 | 37% |
| Smokes | 7663 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8118 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4991 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,767,382 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 890 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | strukes | 52% | 410 |
| #6 | ASaltyCroutons | 51% | 109 |
| #7 | Deep Forever | 51% | 500 |
| #8 | yupper417 | 51% | 75 |
| #9 | Drift | 49% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deep Forever | 34 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | dank bonkripper78 | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Drift | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | yupper417 | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | strukes | 4 | 0.0005 |





