










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,709 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3662 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4232 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3398 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1417 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,516,002 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 325 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ASaltyCroutons | 50% | 199 |
| #9 | Melly♡ | 49% | 170 |
| #10 | Genericho | 49% | 67 |
| #11 | Fiend | 44% | 79 |
| #12 | Howdy Doody | 40% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NukinTURTLe | 28 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | ASaltyCroutons | 14 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Deep Forever | 13 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Howdy Doody | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Melly♡ | 8 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NukinTURTLe | 1147 | 0.18 | 32 min |
| #2 | biKs | 650 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #3 | ASaltyCroutons | 585 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #4 | strukes | 470 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #5 | Melly♡ | 337 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Marv]The Special One | +4.08 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | Cesho | +3.15 | 87 | 42 |
| #3 | NukinTURTLe | +2.69 | 71 | 67 |
| #4 | Genericho | +2.37 | 75 | 42 |
| #5 | biKs | +1.39 | 72 | 68 |





