








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3042 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,566 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1622 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2652 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2700 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2592 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $751,250 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 280 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | sp4rx | 50% | 26 |
| #8 | CamoBrie | 49% | 175 |
| #9 | JustKoen | 48% | 29 |
| #10 | DaGreatCake | 48% | 170 |
| #11 | Crames | 42% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CheesyToiletPaper | 34 | 0.0360 |
| #2 | dengel | 15 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | Crames | 11 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | DaGreatCake | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | N1TT ^^ ∫ | 8 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crames | 337 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | CamoBrie | 202 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | dengel | 192 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | CheesyToiletPaper | 180 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | N1TT ^^ ∫ | 123 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pug | +2.78 | 77 | 69 |
| #2 | dengel | +1.63 | 82 | 69 |
| #3 | CheesyToiletPaper | +0.71 | 76 | 48 |
| #4 | N1TT ^^ ∫ | +0.64 | 84 | 59 |
| #5 | Zynex | +0.62 | 76 | 49 |





