








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 403 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6745 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,864 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5944 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4903 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6441 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4576 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,225,975 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 914 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Palm | 24 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Söderström | 24 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Manne | 21 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | jocke | 14 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Lotion | 14 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Palm | 733 | 0.06 | 21 min |
| #2 | Söderström | 536 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | jocke | 294 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | Lotion | 236 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Manne | 207 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Palm | +1.84 | 89 | 55 |
| #2 | Kurt Caz | +1.56 | 80 | 66 |
| #3 | Haze | +0.95 | 73 | 58 |
| #4 | Söderström | +0.80 | 74 | 64 |
| #5 | aaaaaaaaaaboom | +0.75 | 81 | 65 |





