








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 620 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 370 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 1,879 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5123 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,029 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3685 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5267 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4279 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3798 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,308,451 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 583 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haze | 65% | 52 |
| #2 | Manne | 62% | 84 |
| #3 | jocke | 59% | 137 |
| #4 | aaaaaaaaaaboom | 55% | 333 |
| #5 | Palm | 55% | 319 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Manne | 62% | 84 |
| #3 | jocke | 59% | 137 |
| #4 | aaaaaaaaaaboom | 55% | 333 |
| #5 | Palm | 55% | 319 |
| #6 | Lotion | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Palm | 15 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | aaaaaaaaaaboom | 12 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | jocke | 12 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Manne | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Lotion | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aaaaaaaaaaboom | 661 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #2 | Palm | 373 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #3 | jocke | 221 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Manne | 100 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Haze | 92 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Palm | +1.12 | 89 | 56 |
| #2 | Söderström | +0.89 | 74 | 63 |
| #3 | aaaaaaaaaaboom | +0.36 | 79 | 66 |
| #4 | Haze | +0.29 | 70 | 59 |
| #5 | Lotion | -1.15 | 61 | 48 |





