








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 305 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2221 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1685 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2318 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1679 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1453 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $860,679 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 580 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔹𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣 🅼 | 20 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | Grizzlee | 17 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Burger | 9 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | course | 8 | 0.0156 |
| #5 | dwubsly | 5 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔹𝕦𝕟𝕘𝕖𝕣 🅼 | 453 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #2 | Burger | 298 | 0.32 | 8 min |
| #3 | Grizzlee | 233 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | roma | 212 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | dwubsly | 198 | 0.13 | 4 min |





