








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 359 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 160 matches | ||
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6900 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6619 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7275 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5436 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6210 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,306,121 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChrisD | 69% | 36 |
| #2 | T k Z | 54% | 241 |
| #3 | -m0t | 52% | 56 |
| #4 | PIZZATO | 51% | 402 |
| #5 | r1se ♛ | 50% | 219 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | -m0t | 52% | 56 |
| #4 | PIZZATO | 51% | 402 |
| #5 | r1se ♛ | 50% | 219 |
| #6 | Babien Farthez | 42% | 33 |
| #7 | Bababoy | 40% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PIZZATO | 57 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | r1se ♛ | 20 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | T k Z | 14 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | -m0t | 7 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Bababoy | 5 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r1se ♛ | 1129 | 0.25 | 32 min |
| #2 | PIZZATO | 896 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #3 | T k Z | 711 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #4 | -m0t | 183 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | Babien Farthez | 166 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PIZZATO | +2.51 | 84 | 57 |
| #2 | r1se ♛ | +0.97 | 72 | 79 |
| #3 | ChrisD | +0.96 | 74 | 65 |
| #4 | 「フェアレディZ」 | +0.93 | 83 | 68 |
| #5 | T k Z | +0.66 | 76 | 65 |





