








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,858 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 598 | 32% |
| Smokes | 484 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 385 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 391 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $73,307 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PIZZATO | 71% | 34 |
| #2 | scm | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | T k Z | 70% | 30 |
| #4 | 「フェアレディZ」 | 69% | 36 |
| #5 | r1se ♛ | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PIZZATO | 6 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | 「フェアレディZ」 | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | T k Z | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | scm | 1 | 0.0130 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 「フェアレディZ」 | 90 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | T k Z | 69 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | PIZZATO | 56 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | r1se ♛ | 28 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #5 | scm | 20 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PIZZATO | +4.47 | 89 | 59 |
| #2 | T k Z | +1.41 | 83 | 66 |
| #3 | ChrisD | +1.11 | 74 | 69 |
| #4 | r1se ♛ | +0.96 | 77 | 72 |
| #5 | scm | +0.83 | 80 | 63 |





