








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 885 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 325 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,774 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8264 | 35% |
| Smokes | 5735 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5617 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4158 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $876,690 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1548 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob872368 | 52% | 337 |
| #2 | Captain Jürs | 50% | 500 |
| #3 | bectram | 49% | 240 |
| #4 | ortieez | 48% | 221 |
| #5 | Masterkhan | 46% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Captain Jürs | 50% | 500 |
| #3 | bectram | 49% | 240 |
| #4 | ortieez | 48% | 221 |
| #5 | Masterkhan | 46% | 50 |
| #6 | lil blue frogy | 42% | 187 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bectram | 34 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | bob872368 | 26 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Captain Jürs | 17 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | ortieez | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | lil blue frogy | 11 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob872368 | 1364 | 0.19 | 34 min |
| #2 | Captain Jürs | 923 | 0.09 | 19 min |
| #3 | bectram | 198 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | ortieez | 82 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | Masterkhan | 74 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob872368 | +1.73 | 70 | 56 |
| #2 | Floppytheflapy | +1.37 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | Captain Jürs | -0.13 | 56 | 51 |
| #4 | Masterkhan | -0.74 | 66 | 55 |
| #5 | ortieez | -0.80 | 46 | 37 |





